Who Needs a Gym?

The red room - formal living room, the front room (that's a blast from my past!), the computer room - whatever you call it - it is Peanut's go to room for gymnastics and dance.  The hardwood floors make it perfect for dance - especially turns, and the big open space makes it work for gymnastics.  And yesterday afternoon - so did the couch cushions!

Her tumbling coach told her she needed to completely change up her hand placement to get her back handspring and it's really hard to unlearn something you've taught yourself and been doing for over a year...so here is his trick:

It will be easiest to make the change if you have a little extra time - so start on something a bit higher than where you will be landing.  My heart usually jumps in my chest a bit when I come into the red room and find a configuration like this - many times for good reason.

But not this time - just set your feet right and your hands will fall right in the hole (well, not MY hands...her hands...if I tried this, I'd be in traction).

And then you're all set to finish strong.  hands perfectly pointed in the right direction.  I feel the handspring is 10 days away.  I know she can do it - it's just landing it the first time without a hand at her back.  Then she'll be on to conquering something else.  I just hope there is enough red room for her next challenge!

Pioneering in the Suburbs

Part of the new normal - one of my least fave parts, I must admit, is this setting of the alarm on Saturday in order to get up and keep mom on her schedule.

I had a total throw-back Friday night last night (to 1996ish)- escaped upstairs by myself (Patrick was home, so I left the fam to fend for themselves after 9:00) and watched the Olympics without apology.  Big ole Diet Dr. Pepper over ice.  Food Network magazine for the commercials.  Phone charged with a few games going with my faceless Gems with Friends and Ruzzle pals.  And 2 Jimmy Fallons on DVR.  Pure heaven.  I didn't speak a dozen words between 9pm and midnight.  I actually sent my son a text to bring me up a cold bottle of water...pitiful, but somehow a satisfying guilty pleasure!  Anyway, I got to sleep after 1:00, so the alarm was not my friend this morning.

One of the ways I treat myself on Saturdays is to make cereal instead of a hot meal.  No pans to wash!  YAY! and I put the Pioneer Woman on TV.  Mom doesn't understand Food Network - she likes news shows and talk shows and not surprisingly - kid shows.  The simple physical humor makes her laugh.  But HEY!  I had to set my alarm on a Saturday, so I get my Ree and Lad and wide open Oklahoma vistas.

The outcome of having two 30-minutes blocks of Pioneer Woman on in the mornings means nearly every Saturday evening or Sunday lunch we end up with a Pioneer meal on the table.  Tonight it's the Cowboy Tex Mex Fajitas that were on the first episode this morning.

I shopped, I marinated, I chopped and chopped and chopped, I QC'd more of the pico than was necessary (Melissa D'Arabian's easy pico, by the way - it's my new love! http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/melissa-darabian/easy-pico-de-gallo-recipe.html) and the house smells divine.

The problem with all-day prep is it puts mom in flux.  That kind of activity usually means we will be eating within the hour.  And bless her heart - she can't remember what I have told her. She can sit with a digital clock right in front of her and can no longer tell you what time it is.  So she is antsy!  And she is trying to be "sly".  I want to be respectful and let her get her questions out before I answer them, but she is trying to hint and manipulate - 2 things that just aren't possible with ALZ - to see if it's nearly time for supper.  She still enjoys meals - the social part, the routine, feeling like she is participating just like everyone else.  So we've been dancing this weird when-is-dinner dance for the better part of 2 hours.

I guess that's why I decided to sit down at the computer.  Gathered all the pieces and parts, bowls and platters, ziploc bags and jars onto the back of the stove, cleaned the counters, turned off the lights in the kitchen (darned open-concept!), grabbed mom a bowl of grapes - her favorite snack that's not ice cream or a cookie and tried to bring some peace to the household.

Peyton is doing her part, by watching Dog with a Blog (NOT a fave - but the dog makes mom smile every time!) and I sense calm replacing anxiety.  I'm going to do most of the cooking outside on the grill, so I think we are safe for the rest of the evening.  Let's hope she likes the fajitas...heck, let's hope we all like them!  I always make a recipe exactly like it says the first time and then make notes on what needs tweaked if it's worth tweaking.   After all this - please let it not be an "I'm so sorry, it looked so good on the show" recipe!

I have faith in my Pioneer Woman - she rarely let's me down (I've chosen to forget about that unfortunate baked chicken spaghetti!)  Fingers crossed.

Five Minute Friday: Small

Normally on Fridays I write on my caregiver blog http://lisa-alittlebitofthisandthat.blogspot.com/ - stories about my mom and our dance with Alzheimer's, but today's prompt took me immediately to my daughter's eyes and I had to switch gears and write here - the place I try to capture stories about my family that will remind them always how much they were loved....I wonder if I can do any justice in just 5 minutes....?

Small

Last night was my daughter's first drama performance - try outs, rehearsals, costumes, expectations - the whole package.  And she has been loving it.

She is a mermaid.  She is part of a trio.  She had to have curly mermaid hair and a big seafoam green costume with a mermaid tail.

She was fearless at tryouts.  Quick in learning her lines.  Dedicated in rehearsing & refining.  Excited as the night approached.  She made me forget that she might be nervous.  That this was a BIG DEAL.  That she was performing in front of a LOT of people.

I'm a performer - and I adored it.  Why wouldn't she...my beautiful girl.  My mermaid.

And then we got there and she came on stage and I could see her look for me.  She is me.  It was a big night, but for a few very important seconds it was just the two of us, eyes locked, on the edge of the first line.

In the middle of all the lights and make-up and glitter and excitement - it was just my girl and me.  Small.  Intimate.  Courageous.  Together.  In being small together in the seconds before her first line, she knew she wasn't alone.  She knows we know she can do anything.

And so she was a mermaid.  A glittery, singing, funny, laugh-getting, line emoting mermaid.

Being a mom is so many wonderful things. But the connection we have with our children that allows us to be small in the midst of anything the world throws at us is really big!  And I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world.



This post is part of Lisa Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday, in response to the prompt “small” I wrote for 5 minutes and published without editing, in 5 minute Friday tradition.

Mermaid hair

Today's the day - Peyton's drama performance at school.  She is a mermaid - one of the three "Singing Sea's".  I mended the costumes - her's got extra attention!  I helped her rehearse her lines.  I taught her the tune to "Good Night Ladies" and now, I'm helping her get mermaid hair.

Her teacher/director wants the girls to have curls.  Peyton is lucky to get waves.  And it's a gloomy, boarderline rainy, windy day.  For me - that would be perfect.  I would have the biggest, curliest, mermaidiest hair in town.  But for my straight-haired girl - not a recipe for success.

I tried to get her to settle for the french braid waves...nope!  She wants curls.

So last night AFTER cheer, we started.  She showered, cutting way down on the conditioner.  We towel dried.  And we put in curl sticks.

Perfectly combed, sectioned off, lots of attention to detail - in the hopes of achieving curls and not frizz or George Washington hair!  Our first attempt at curlers actually made her look like on of those old powdered wig men in Bicentennial paintings!  Definitely NOT mermaid hair.

She had to sleep on them - and she was a trooper.  Drum roll please.....

Before comb out - not bad...I did have to recurl one of the side pieces with a curling iron - the side she slept on must have come out at some point in the night.

We spritzed them with hairspray.  We pulled the two top front sections up into a bump, we spritzed them again and now we pray.  The weather, her fidgeting, the activity in today's PE class, the wind at pick up time - all of these will determine if we still have curls at curtain time. 

I have faith and a curling iron - just in case.  Either way - she will be the cutest mermaid ever seen on the PHIS stage tonight.  My girl!

Good Bye Charlie

The weirdest thing happened yesterday - Peyton was on a mission to reorganize her backpack...a 10.3 pound nightmare.  We started on Friday night - went through old papers and got rid of nearly 2 pounds!  And out of all the graded papers - only 5 of them were "memory box" worthy.  Intermediate school papers just aren't quite the warm-and-fuzzy's of elementary school.

Anyway, after a breakfast of this fabulous overnight french toast casserole, she sat down on the family room floor - the ENTIRE FLOOR, mind you - to tackle the rest of the task.  I was busy baking breakfast muffins and cutting up veggies and making snacks, etc for lunches this week and the guys were at the batting cages, so I told her she could pick whatever she wanted to watch on tv.  I figured she needed/deserved a little break from the Olympics!

Half way through the Great Back Pack Clean Up

What she found was a Good Luck Charlie marathon.  I love Good Luck Charlie.  I know it's a kid's show.  I know it's predictable.  I know the characters are caricatures of real people.  I know.  I know.  I know.  But in the grand scheme of kids shows I watch with my kids - I love this one.  The mom cracks me up, PJ is darling, Teddi is such a beautiful soul - not a bad thing for my daughter to see weekly.  Anyway - last night was the final show, so they did what any station worth their marketing salt would do and they played a full day marathon of shows leading up to the finale.

I stayed so busy - still had to finish sewing/mending the mermaid costumes for Peyton's drama performance.  Had to prepare the Sunday leftover extravaganza lunch.  Had to have a mini-emotional breakdown about my beautiful boy's insubordinate (aka teenage) behavior.  And all the other things I do on Sundays to make good use of my time to make the week run smoother. 

One of 3 Mermaid costumes that needed some TLC with needle and thread before the big performance!

Anyway, we watched the entire marathon.  We even recorded the finale since it took place during dinner and we all sat on the couch and watched together.  It tied up in lots of neat little packages - mom got a tv gig, PJ and Emmit started a successful food truck, dad still looks all buff, Ivy was no where to be seen - which made me sad, Gabe and the neighbor made nice and Teddi and Spencer found their way back together...ahhhhhhhh!  But the nicest thing about the entire day was when Peyton reached over to me, put her hand on mine and said "Thank you mommy for letting me watch the marathon - now I can cross this off my bucket list - "watching a marathon with my BFF"  (that's ME!)

Who knew your heart could be so full of love? 

And then, because he actually sat down without complaining and watched the show with her - Peyton helped Murph cut out words for one of his poem projects for English.  And because they love their momma and know what a giant nerd I am - they came into the living room to watch Meryl and Charlie skate in the short program and pretended to be interested before we tidied up and headed to bed.

I'd call that a perfect evening!  Thanks Charlie!

Growing up

Today I realized my kids are growing up in a way that means growing away.  My son is a teenager.  Need I say more.  My daughter is a tween who is stretching her independence to see how it fits.  I am so proud and so sad.  Sad?  No, that's not the right word.  Melancholy feels like the right word, but it may not be right either.  Heavy.  Whatever the word, I feel it deep into my soul today.  I love that we are raising them to be and do and survive and thrive and think and solve.  But today I loved it more when Peanut took my hand and when Murph asked to ride along with me in the car.  Love them, love them, love them.

This is new...

Mom has started pulling her sweater up around her face - sometimes all the way over her eyes and sometimes for hours at a time.  I have no idea why.  She doesn't seem to be sad or cold or frightened.  Maybe she's hiding?  I can't imagine from what.  Maybe it helps her feel safe.  Maybe it's a comfort.  

I know I will pull the blankets up all around my face (never over, but all the way around) to go to sleep when I am especially happy to be going to bed.  I find comfort in the feeling of a soft "blankie" on my cheeks.  Maybe that's what mom is feeling.

I tried to ask her, but she doesn't even know she's doing it...at least I don't think she knows.  Every moment is such a mystery.  

Tonight at dinner she was saying how she never thought she'd get to where she couldn't just do everything for herself.  She hasn't the slightest idea of how long she has needed help.  I could tell she was more herself - not a child or a teenager - and although I don't think she knows exactly who I am, she knows she knows me.  I was able to look in her eyes and smile.  I love that.  

There are times when looking her directly in the eye makes her uncomfortable or angry or brings out the spit and vinegar.  Tonight it was okay.  Tonight I could tell her that we would always be here to help her with anything she couldn't do.  That she didn't need to worry about anything.  Tonight.

Winter Olympics

For as long as I can remember - I have watched, loved, been obsessed with the Olympics.  Summer.  Winter.  Doesn't matter.  I love the Olympics.

I assumed my kids would love the Olympics too.  Isn't Olympic Love genetic?  I certainly thought so.

2008...Summer Olympics...Beijing.  What could be better than that.  I had the entire evening planned.  An Opening Ceremony watch party fiesta.  Me and the kids.  Patrick had to work...I'm surprised he didn't request the night off to be part of the fun!

My kids didn't want to watch..."ARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH...how LLLLOOOONGGGGGGG is this????????????????????...WWWWHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYY do I have to watch TOOOOOOOO?  MMMMMMOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.  UUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

What could this mean?  Were my children defective.  Had they been switched at the hospital with non-Olympic loving children?  How could this be?

I am proud to say, I was not the cool parent that night.  I was not the understanding parent.  I was not the I'm going to let you off the hook parent that night.  We watched....the WHOLE thing!  I had stories to tell.  I shared memories of my childhood and memories of watching when they were babies.  I may not have gotten them "stoked", but we watched.  Bless those tv producers at NBC - they made the human interest stories just right to get kids a little bit interested in watching the gymnastics, the swimming, the track events.  Heck, tennis, weight lifting...I watch it ALL!

And now it is part of our family tradition.  This year Peanut was off to Altitude with friends on Opening Ceremonies night, but Murph and I had our own little watch party.  And he may not have been over-the-moon thrilled, but he knew it was just something we did.  We talked about the countries he has learned about in school, the athletes we have watched in other Olympics or in the X games and he was excited about Slope Style and Half Pipe.

We've watched luge, ski jumping, ice dancing, all the snowboard and freestyle skiing events, the moguls, the stories about Russia and all the athletes.   We cheer for Americans.  We cheer for the best uniform or name or underdog if there are no Americans in the finals.  Peyton judges the ice skaters costumes far more harshly than their skating has ever been judged!

Murph is lovin' the snowboard events...anything that might be seen at the X Games, really.  His 3 snow days on the hill with his makeshift snowboard have made him a teeny bit crazy.  This kid tried to skateboard for years.  He apparently grew into his balance because when he was younger - it was not the least bit natural for him.  I remember the first time he wanted to try going down an ice covered hill on his skateboard sans trucks and I pictured the worst.  But, like I said, he's grown into his balance.  It brings him joy and there is nothing I love better than joy.

The kids even made cardboard skis and snowboards one evening while the games were on.  They worked up a whole performance for me - they love their momma!  I promised them I wouldn't post this on FB or Instagram, but I had to put it somewhere so I will never forget the moment.

Jammies, a hand made snowboard, hand made skis, handmade goggles, crutches for ski poles and joyous kiddos.  How can you NOT love the Olympics!  It brings out the best in us all!

Sports EKG

Now that I know everything is normal, I can write about this....Peyton had to have a Sports EKG today in order to get the doctor to sign off on her athletics physical for cheer and athletics next year.  WHAT????  My mom's history made it necessary and Cook Children's and a great big grant made it free.  But I was freaked out.  I know I said before, I really am and "better safe than sorry" parent.  But that doesn't change the fact that I was fearful.  What might they find?  How would that change our lives?  Maybe unknown isn't so bad after all!!!

I picked her up from school a bit early - wanted to avoid rush hour traffic and be the first ones there for the 2:30-4:00 appointments.  Made great time, found a sweet parking space, made our way to the Dodson Heart Center, signed in, signed forms and waited.  In the cutest waiting room ever!  And waited.  Once it was our turn, the EKG itself took less than 5 minutes.  The tech couldn't/wouldn't tell us anything.  They have to send it to the doctor.  She was nice enough to say that there was nothing that made her think she needed to call the doctor or send us for more tests.

So we drove home - made good time again - YAY! picked up Murph, stopped for celebratory Race Trac drinks and came home.  The phone rang as soon as we were in the door - all is well!  EKG is normal!  Athletics physical is signed off on!

We saw 2 children (one about Peyton's age) in wheelchairs with tubes in their noses.  We saw all the special places and information and donor walls and amazing staff who set the tone for Cook Children's and it was all I could do not to drop to my knees and say thank you right there in the corridor.  Peyton asked me after we got in the car if I was all right...and I told her yes.  I reminded her that we are blessed.  And I got all choked up for the children who aren't all right.  I hope this makes it easier to not whine or complain or get ruffled about things that are trivial.  To choose to smile or offer a kind word or an offer to help.  And I will continue to be thankful for my 2 beautiful, healthy, "normal", athletic children.

Dessert Nachos

I had a head cold all week, so I put the slow cooker to good use last week.  It is easier than any other form of cooking and as long as I spray the inside with cooking spray before I begin, the clean up is pretty sinch-y too.

Friday was carnitas day...and the smell was divine!  Maybe it was because it was the first thing I have been able to smell in a couple of days or maybe it was because I adore carnitas more than any other food that I can make at home.

Anyway, I fell into a Mexican feast mode...zesty orange cilantro rice, homemade guac and pico and this delightful giant bowl of carnitas with tortillas (both kinds as I am a sucker for corn and the rest of my family is flour all the way!)

Dinner was sublime, but my sweet tooth was calling....what to have.  Ice cream?  Nope, not feista-enough.  What had I seen on tv earlier in the week....Dessert Nachos!  That's it and behold!  I had all the necessary ingredients in the house.

Biggest problem - our oven is not working.  We have burners and the broiler, but no oven.  I have you-tubed how to repair it, but we have to wait until Patrick has an entire day off to fix it...this one is too big for my repair britches. 

No worries...I can broil with the best of them.  And these nachos were calling my name.

Here's what I used:
for the 'chips'
1/2 stick of butter
1/3 c of sugar
1 T cinnamon
6 flour tortillas
for the whipped cream topping
1 c heavy cream
1 t vanilla
3ish T confectioner's sugar
for the chocolate sauce
1 c milk chocolate chips and one Hersey bar classic
2 T heavy cream

Here's how I did it:
Make your whipped cream first:
Use a hand mixer to whip 1 c heavy cream until it starts to form peaks, add vanilla and confectioner's sugar and whip until it forms soft peaks (if you go too long, you'll get something more like butter, which is NOT what you want!)

Now put your choc chips and 2 T of heavy cream in a microwave safe bowl and unwrap the Hershey bar (or more chips if you have them...we ran out, thus the Hershey bar!)

Then get ready to make the "chip" part
Melt 1/2 stick of butter
Mix together sugar and cinnamon
Cover sheet pans with foil
Preheat broiler (I left my racks in the second from the top position for better control)
Brush tortillas with butter on one side
Sprinkle liberally with sugar/cinnamon mixture
Place under broiler until the tortillas start to bubble and get a little crisp

Take the pan out, flip the tortillas, repeat the butter, sugar/cinnamon thing on the other side and place back in the broiler.

If you can multi-task, go ahead and work on your chocolate sauce while broiling.  Put the chips and heavy cream in the microwave for 15 second bursts.  It took me 3 times to get it where I wanted it.  I added the Hershey bar pieces (you can add extra choc chips) at the end to get it to the consistency you like your sauce.

Once the tortillas are the crispness you like (about 4 minutes each side for me...I am sure this would work in a 450 oven as well if your oven is working!), cut them into triangles, top with chocolate sauce and whipped cream.  Then you can sprinkle with any remaining cinnamon/sugar you have left.

I think it would be cute to add bits of strawberry to mimic 'tomatoes' for the chips - I am sure we will try that this summer.  Mini marshmallows would be fun, sprinkles, chopped nuts, mini chocolate chips...whatever you've got around the cupboard.

ALZ with a head cold...

So, we are experiencing a first in my caregiver world.  A big ole head cold.  Trivial, considering the number of deadly flu cases in the Metroplex, but not so trivial when it feels like some cowboy has parked an F-150 on my sinuses!

Mom doesn't understand head colds unless she has one.  She is very in tune with her immediate symptoms.  Although she can't remember being in the hospital or any illness once she has recovered - but when she is in the throws of pain or discomfort - she knows. 

But when I am sick - she recognizes no symptoms, it would never occur to her to say "Bless You" when I sneeze, she can't remember or empathize or sympathize even when I flat out tell her "I'm sick". She expects (and I expect) breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, the house clean, activities, her appointments, the occasional drive through the neighborhood, conversation and patience.  I can muster most of the above, but the patience is a challenge.

I tend to carry most of my colds in my sinuses for the first few days and then it settles into my throat.  I get croaky and coughy and gravely.  And it hurts.  Vocal rest was always prescribed back in the day before I was a mom and caregiver and actually went to the doctor, but vocal rest is impossible these days.  So, when I have to tell her the day of the week for the 20th time and my voice is raw - I get so frustrated.  Sometimes at her - I mean, I pulled out her atomic clock as a reminder.  I wrote it on a sheet of paper and put it on her walker (along with some other fun facts to help her remember without me answering), I set the white board calendar (with the day circled in purple) in plain sight. 

And sometimes at myself.  She doesn't remember.  It's her favorite point of reference.  I can tell that she thinks if she can only figure out what day it is, all the other missing facts will fall into place.  That's not how it actually works, but I somehow feel in my heart that that is why she asks. It's what sparks this look on her face as she repeats the day back to me that Thursday, or Saturday or Monday should MEAN something.  It doesn't.  And I should be more patient. 

Truthfully, I succeed about 80% of the time being patient with a head cold...down from my 90% on a regular, non-head-cold day.  And just like she doesn't remember that I don't feel well, she doesn't remember if I am short with her.  But in the moment it happens - it makes her mad or breaks her heart.  And she doesn't need that.  She may not know it, but she has enough to deal with every day. 

When I stop and think about how beautifully she is handling not having the vaguest idea where she is or who she is and who I am and why I am and why, why, why without breaking down and crying or hiding under the blankets it increases my patience.

Take a couple more tylenol, blow my nose, wash my hands, grab a mug of hot ginger green tea, say thank you in a prayer or in my journal and caregiver on!

Middle School Here We Come! (again)

It's that time of year again - well, IF one of your children is going into a new school in the fall.  Peanut is prepping for Middle School.  Cheer tryouts, class selection, new counselors and "IGraduate"  EEEK!

We have her cheer forms completed - well, except for the sport physical.  We thought we had that done, but because of my mom's history of A-Fib, my baby has to have a sports EKG.  How overwhelming!  Luckily, Cook Children's is offering them for free in the month of February, so we will be there on Tuesday.  She is actually excited about the process - she is still wanting to be some kind of surgeon or physician or medical examiner.  It means I have to drive downtown - something I detest, but I will do it, because I am a firm believer in "better safe than sorry" when it comes to the kiddos.

I went to the HMS incoming 7th grade meeting on Thursday - lots of info, lots of choices to be made and some thinly veiled warnings from the counselor who presented...but I still believe we will go the Pre-AP route for her - even the math...we'll see!

Next Thursday is the IGraduate meeting - good grief!  It's a new thing for our school district - kids are having to declare their route for high school by the 8th grade.  I was hoping that meant that someone had identified a way to actually know what you want to be when you grow up - since that is what they are asking for our kids to do in this declaration - but sadly, no....it's just something they say will help, I feel is yet another way to silo our kids into this teeny tiny path.  Kids choosing their preferred sport at 13, kids deciding to focus on the college prep courses and missing out on fine arts or athletics.  I don't know.  I am withholding further judgment until the meeting next week.

She is such an enigma...she loves science.  She loves gymnastics.  She loves imagination games.  She is discovering drama and theatre.  She sings.  She dances.  She analyzes.  She sleeps with a dozen stuffies.  She loves fashion.  She is a phenomenal speller.  She works with the special needs kids in her school daily.  She is independent.  She is strong.  She loves her family.  She is practical like no one I have ever known.

She will be successful in Middle School.  It will be different and there will be some transition issues.  But she will be successful because she has decided she will be successful and that's just how she is!