Growing Up

I'm home now - an all-the-time mom.  I am in charge of the getting up, the getting ready, the laundry, the lunch packing, the homework prodding, the car-pooling, the scheduling, the meals, the doling out of computer/table/phone/tv time, the referee, the nutritionist, the confidant, the grade-checker, the disciplinarian. 

I am all the way in.  It is the best and better part of my every day.  It is the music or fabric or whatever commercial catch-phrase you want to use "of my life".  And I love it!  I waited so long for it that I find I have an easier time not resenting it or wanting more or wishing for things past.  I love this life of being mom. 

Sometimes when you are up to your elbows in a thing, you don't notice the changes...until you glance at your son when you are side-by-side at the refrigerator and realize he is taller than you.  When did that happen?  Gradually, I'm sure.  While I was momming.  He was growing.  WOW!

This has been a week of wows.  Wows that have made me realize how fast my kids are growing up.  My baby is preparing for semester exams - for HIGH SCHOOL!  He's nearly half way through his Freshman year.  And he's taller.  And his sense of humor is more adult - he's funny like his daddy and a smart aleck like his momma.  His voice is deeper, he is interested in girls (although the names change frequently and he'd rather die than tell me who they are - no worries, I just break into his phone and look for myself!)  My bitty, bitty girl is getting ready for middle school.  She is going to try out for cheerleading.  She is getting ready as we speak to go to the mall with a friend...and putting on mascara!  She still has a pink stuffed monkey named Bubbles that accompanies her everywhere, but Bubbles stays in the car now - she's far too old to be seen with a stuffie in public.  She is smart, she has a sense of fashion, she is already talking about what she wants to be when she grows up - a surgeon or a medical examiner are top of the list these days...although stylist and make-up artist frequently jump back in the conversation!

I read the posts of my high school friends who followed a more traditional timeline for having kids and love seeing them become grandparents and looking at their kiddo's graduation pics and know that someday I will have the same stories to share.  And those are beautiful things, things I want for my kids. 

At the same time, I am a bit melancholy that my babies are growing up.  That they don't need me for survival like they used to.  That I came to this life of full-time motherhood in the back stretch and it will be over in a blink of an eye.  That I'm running out of time to teach them, to set the example, to fill their hearts with assurance that they are loved beyond measure... so many things. 

So today while I enjoy a Saturday of not doing any crazy cleaning or laundry or gourmet cooking, I am watching them be bigger, stronger, more mature and praying, always praying, for God's hand on their shoulders and voice in their ears as they continue this journey of Growing Up.